"Governor Paterson, the governor of New York, announced that by the end of the year, New York City will be broke. Yep. So we’re going to have to make lots of cuts. The Midtown Tunnel? That will be by appointment only. Call ahead. Let them know you’re coming through. Metropolitan Museum has laid off three mummies. And the city temporarily has stopped constructing potholes."

— DAVID LETTERMAN, The Late Show (via inothernews)